Games vs Girls
There comes a time in every gamer's life where he must struggle with two diametrically opposing forces: games, and girls.
I can only imagine the pain and suffering
Canadian Attack Beaver faces when he has just picked up a rack of new games, and yet his beloved is cooing for attention. I have learned that you can't fool a girl by trying to split your attention between the epic battle at hand and the game you are playing, er what? sorry I was ... what? Oh OK let me pause this... OK sorry um, what you want me to pick up some eggs? Sure, right after I reach the next save point. Ow! Ok ok, I'm going.
This video from Google Video perhaps illustrates best the eventuality that "game widows" must face.
Sure it might not be that romantic, but I don't think that things have really changed that much. Back in the past it was "Honey I'll be in bed right after I tend the sheep", or "Honey I'll be back right after I chop down a couple more trees".
I mean it isn't like we've never heard "Oh sweetie, I just have to collide a couple more nano particles against this little piece of metal and then analyze the pico scratches to see if they resemble any famous deities" before.
That said, we know in our hearts that the game isn't going anywhere, and we're coming to bed soon. Right after this cut-scene.
The Game Chair
This is not the
(ultimate) game chair that you are looking for.
This is
the game chair that you are looking for. I have signed up to be a game blogger / reviewer / muser at "
The Game Chair", a progressive video game website that attempts to cover gaming in a more mature and innovative way. How so?
Well, in terms of maturity, most of the contributors have a solid set of game experience, and tend not to over hype games. The cool part, however, is the fresh way they review games in what they call "
progressive reviews". The reviewer immerses you into his first crack at the game and you follow his narrative as he guides you through his experiences and impressions from start to finish. I find that this technique best captures the (
sometimes emotional,
sometimes adrenaline filled) journey one takes when playing a great game.
So in my own shameless plug, you can see my
game chair profile for yourself.
What games would make your list of "
memorable experiences" or "
just add friends"?
Am I the only one with "
ninja fantasies"?
Labels: The Game Chair
The Wiles of Women
Funny, the ways women try to attract men. Take Joy_C for example.
Obviously she is desperate. After trying to seduce men by other extreme means (which have by all accounts failed), she is now trying to "Shock and Awe" men with her dog gnawing abilities. Maybe what she is trying to say is "If I will put a dogs leg in my mouth ... wink- wink-nudge-nudge" ?? Personally I wouldn't put my mouth near anything that was doing what is shown here. Maybe that's her plan.. maybe she is afraid of intimate contact and is trying to dissuade her next date from pulling a kiss on the first date ... or ever for that matter.
Now let's analyze her comments:
"I am afraid of being alone."Yes, we're afraid of being alone (with you) too.
"When I am alone, everything seems like not interesting at all."I guess if she is totally alone - that includes dogs. That would be pretty non-interesting if you're obsessed with PUTTING NASTY ASS DOG LEGS IN YOUR MOUTH!
"I like to talk with people, having fun with people."Yeah yeah, she is trying to lull you into a false sense of security. I'm SURE she's just like anyone else. Oh shit... I looked at her picture.
What really hits home to me is her comment:
"Making friends is the funniest thing in the world."I guess that's true. Her making friends = Joke.
Crazy with a K (Krazy)
Wow,
KRAZY keyboards that are vertical... with
vertical MICE to go with them! Soon we'll all be standing
V
E
R
T
I
C
A
L
L
Y
I can't take it!
EDIT: Yes, this news is ... from 2003. So, it's not really newsworthy. So incase you're wondering, with the help of
time traveller Derelict, I got this news fresh from the past. It is slightly fresher than a day old donut.
Crazy Games
Alright, Ben and Cibbuano have made some posts of crazy things that don't usually make their way over here (
Brack condoms, "da buo" and such). So to respond, I have a couple funny (both "ha-ha" funny and "I don't think I should eat that cheese, it looks funny" funny) examples of my own to share.
First of all, a
Japanese fighting game mentioned over at
Inverted Castle where your opponent continually recovers her health unless you humiliate her with candid upskirt panty shots.
See video evidence (mildly nsfw) here.
Secondly, a Star Wars maniac who
wanders around Tokyo wearing a storm trooper uniform.
Third, well just go to
Engrish.com and amuse yourself. I can't really think of anything else.
Personally I can't say that I saw anything "crazy" when I was in Japan. It was just really, really clean. Oh, and people only need these tiny little locks for their bikes, no D or U locks required. Crime rates are so low... it's CRAZY!
I admit to being easily amused by the "
Fukin fried rice" (only $6.50!) they sell at the food court by my work.
Another
neat video, a live-action version of "
Shenmue". If you haven't played Shenmue, I can't stress how amazing it was - especially considering it came out on Dreamcast. I would consider getting a used Dreamcast just to play that game, unless they do a remake of it on another newer console. But I have too many games and not enough time as it is... so Shenmue will have to wait.
EDIT: Another crazy thing in Japan I heard about but forgot.
"Maid" cafes. The waitresses dress up like maids from some Japanese animation or game, and address clients as "Master". They get on their knees and stir milk into your tea. For some geeks (otaku), this is as close as they get to a real girl. Maybe it isn't so far off from a "Hooters"? Personally I don't mind attractive girls in sexy uniforms serving me (although maid uniforms are not my "cup of tea" bwahaha), but I would feel self-consciously creepy if I started to enjoy being called "Master".
Offensive Cartoons
I understand that certain groups of people have been offended by other certain groups of people due to certain illustrations.
I would like to echo this sentiment: "
So Fucking What"?
We used to draw funny illustrations of our junior high school teacher Mr. Gerling, and he didn't call for our beheading did he?
If someone drew a funny picture of the pope holding Michael Jackson's hand with a couple altar boys in tow, would some people be offended? Yes. Would a rational adult try to equate the emotional distress of being offended with the physical distress of being decaptitated? I think not.
The neat thing about capitalism is that if a company (let's say a newspaper) does something offensive, you can strike back with your wallet. And not by hiring hitmen.
I don't think I need to convince anyone who bothers to read.
- actual image of Mr. Gerling
here (hint, look for the guy in the 'stache)
EDIT: How NOT to show people that your religion is non-violent
There comes a time in every gamer's life where he must struggle with two diametrically opposing forces: games, and girls.
