Bathroom Etiquette
Hopefully no-one reading this will be educated by my rant, as that is what this will be, but I was this close to calling this article "Stop pissing on the goddamn FLOOR!".
Seriously, I witness gross abominations every single time I go to the A4 men's restroom at my office. For your amusement and education, let me list the offences I have witnessed.
- People taking their laptops into the stalls with them. Why? And even if there was some reason why you HAD to take it in the stall with you...
- People taking their laptops into the stalls with them, and proceeding to use the laptop (I could hear the "ding" sounds of instant messaging) while in the middle of taking a crap.
- People leaving without washing their hands.
- People engaging in conversation while busting a leak at the urinals. Worse if you are in between the people talking. Can you WAIT? Or at least stand beside each other.
- Every other urinal is free but the guy decides to choose the urinal closest to you.
- And my MOST HATED - A putrid pool of piss which accumulates under the same urinal every single day. Someone cannot aim or really hates the cleaning staff, and obviously has a favorite pissing spot.
Some helpful links for the bathroom retarded, or people from a different "bathroom culture" as some helpful politically correct intellectuals advised me:
- ICBE, the International Centre for Bathroom Etiquette
- Islamic Bathroom Etiquette
- Urinal Selection Quiz
posted by Blight @ 11:16 PM
22 Comments:
Yeah, leaving a mess in the urinal or stalls pisses me off. Seriously, what's the deal? Did their parents neglect to teach them how to go to the washroom as a child? Is this some modern form of marking territory?
Otherwise, I'm not bothered by talking, as long as I'm not stuck in the middle, or the guy is being creepy. Also, if they guy took a piss and doesn't wash his hands, I don't see what the big deal is. Urea is very antiseptic, so as long as his hands aren't covered in it, it shouldn't be a big deal.
Ok yes probably the penis was clean since he had a shower in the morning (you hope) etc etc and should still be clean by the time he whips it out and diddles on the floor. Anyway I saw guys come out from taking a crap and not wash their hands.
Yeah, true, I guess that area might not be the cleanest. Eh, I usually wash my hands, it's more an in-and-out thing when I'm in a rush, or there's a big line up.
Talking at length is only ok if you and the person you are talking to are both hammered. Otherwise, it's kinda weird.
I have an interesting story on the topic. One of the janitors caught a "phantom shitter" in the act here at the library. He said 'it' was still steaming. The PS denied it, of course, but since the janitor claimed he just cleaned the stall, that I had to be him. Anyway the PS wound up having to clean his S.
I wish I could say I was surprised.
Ok wait I don't understand. What exactly is a PS? He was accusing you of being a PS (whatever that is), and then YOU had to clean up someone elses S??
Sorry "PS = Phantom Shitter"
And it should have read " but since the janitor claimed he had just cleaned the stall, that it had to be him (the Phantom Shitter)."
In short, the PS cleaned up his own pile of steaming S.
You should always watch your hands. I don't want to touch any urine-contaminated stuff when opening doors. Plus it smells.
I prefer the urinals that extend to the floor. More area to hit.
Maybe some people get some thrill from urinating or the floor, or leaving a few drops lying around. They probably want to mark their territory. These are probably the same kind of people that don't stop for old ladies crossing the street. Of course, these people should be shot.
I also didn't understand the Beav's story...
derelict: yes, urine is clean. But that doesn't mean we all want to touch other people's wizz... if you like it so much, the next time you go to the bathroom, rinse your hands off in someone else's urine stream.
blight: the pool on the floor is nasty. But I suspect that it's not the act of one person, but the accumulation of everyone's splashings. So, you're contributing to the pool as well..
Whatever, as far as urine goes, there's a difference between washing your hands in it and MAYBE having trace amounts on it after you pee. I don't know about you, but I keep my hands safely away from the stream when I pee.
Also, I don't get spray on the floor. The floor spray is from obviously piss-challenged pee-ers.
Depending on how the urinal is designed, some urinals will produce spray from anyone urinating. I noticed this at one of the offices I worked at.
Over the day, the urine would collect into a small pool.
I think it's a more obvious solution than some rogue analyst, deliberately peeing off to the side..
Then explain why this inevitable pool of piss doesn't spawn under any of the other urinals in the other 15 male bathrooms at my office building.
No, this is the result of a mal-pisser. Maybe he got his penis pierced and it just sprays everywhere? Personally I don't care for excuses, he just needs to sit down.
I'm mad, but I'm laughing.
hm, maybe you're right. Maybe he gets off on it, like the freaks in Savage Love Article...
If you read the article, you'll agree that the best solution would be to just use another washroom. Who knows what's next?
Beav: I agree that the talking rule isn't in effect when you're under the influence. Funny that.
I love this! WARREN!!!!
It's me- Tammy W. From Grace Martin. Remember when we were kids, and I was already almost 6 feet tall, and you were about 3 feet tall (geez, I hope you've grown, or else that was really insensitive)...anyway, just wanted to say hi. HI! This is exciting. I'm going to go read your entries now and catch up. I see you're in Ontario now...that's pretty cool. I left E-town myself, and now I'm in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I hope all is well with you!
Aloha,
Tamara
Man. I'm sitting here chuckling to myself- after not hearing from you in what? 10-12 years, this is a nice entry to start with. Piss 'n' shit, eh?
Yes it is somewhat bad timing to start with this article Tammy. But yes I just had to vent... and its not something you get to talk about everyday (or hopefully not anyway).
So, what do you guys think happened to Warren? Was he finally accepted as an honourary member of the Korean race, became a Moonie, and got married in a mass wedding in some arena in Seoul?
Why? Is there some Asian-thing going on that he's not posting on his blog?
There are always Asian things going on that are not posted about in my blog, but that's why I don't post about them. Shouldn't it just be taken for granted?
But I don't know where Derelict is getting his Moonie stories from. I am not, and have never been, a member of a cult.
However, I reserve the right to become a member of a cult that worships me. Especially if the other members of the cult are hot, and female. Pleated skirts are preferable but not required.
Why pleated skirts?
Non-pleated skirts are no good?
Non pleated skirts are ok, but pleated skirts are ... sorry, hard to explain if you don't have pleated skirt preferences.
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